State of Grace

I’d like to start by saying that I’m a forgiving person.  There have been people who have hurt me in my fifty years of life.  Some were deeper wounds than others.  I was rarely a victim, just a human fumbling my way through this world.  And, guess what?  I’m confident I’ve hurt others too.  Why?  Because I’m human-completely imperfect.  If I can brag for a moment, I’m quite likely the “imperfect” poster girl.  Note to self, add “imperfect poster girl” to my LinkedIn profile.  

Let’s circle back to me saying that I’m a forgiving person.  It’s true.  I am forgiving.  But, forgetting is a whole other story.  While these days, I cannot remember where I last placed my iPhone or where the “thinga-ma-jig” is, I can remember with surgical precision who hurt me, how they hurt me, when they hurt me and the anniversary of them hurting me.  It's etched in my brain.  Or, my heart.  Maybe both.  But, your girl, Jill Lide Parish, does not forget.  

My Sister (built in bestie/guide/now angel) said to me more times than I can count, “I can forgive, but I will never forget.”  She said this emphatically.  My Mother, on the other hand, would often impart the wisdom of Maya Angelou upon us.  “If a person tells you who they are, believe them.”  I must have been quick to forget like a goldfish growing up, so my Sister and Mother felt they really needed to drill these truths into me.  And, SCORE!  They did just that.

I do believe that all we experience in life can serve as lessons. So paying attention and not forgetting things is necessary for survival.  If someone did something terribly hurtful, we have an awareness of that and navigate accordingly.  Inviting someone in to repeat hurtful behavior is definitely not on the bingo card.  But, there’s a caveat. People, most people, do grow and change.  The prayer is that those changes are always for the better.  

So, while I say I’m forgiving, I also know that my inability to forget truly hinders that.  Stay with me.  I’ve been seeing a functional doctor, and one of the big things we’ve been working on is my gut health.  I don’t know about y’all, but the only time I’ve ever thought much about my gut is when it’s hanging over my jeans a little.  I digress.  Gut health is so important.  Come to find out, your gut is like your second brain.  And, it just so happens that right now my brain is bigger than normal.  I’m calling this a win. But, in order to clean up the gut, I’ve been doing various things like powders and supplements as prescribed by my functional doctor.  I was better but not healed, so she added an additional supplement and drops for further repair.  It made me think about the forgiveness I so boldly profess I give.  It’s really not forgiven until it’s forgotten, too.  Like repairing my gut, forgiving is made up of parts.  We forgive.  We forget (but hold necessary truths deep with in the recesses of our minds and hearts for added protection).  We give grace.  

This past week, on two occasions, I reached out to a couple people who I felt hurt and disappointed by.  They were both going through hard things, and, while I know they weren’t waiting on a a call or visit from me, they got it.  And, not because I necessarily thought they deserved it.  I just did it because that’s what felt right in my heart.  Doing so was giving grace.  Once I realized what I was doing, I cried out to God in thanksgiving for all the grace He continually gives me.  I’m not the least bit worthy.  In fact, I’m not even in the vicinity of worthy, yet He gives it so freely it’s as if it's meant just for me…  because it is.  And, the good news is that it’s meant for you, too.  

Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God.”  Grace is a gift and its recipient is completely undeserving.  That’s me and you.  Jesus paid the ultimate price.  God in human form came down to earth and took on the sin of the world.  Who would do such a thing?  Jesus.  While I’m not Jesus, I certainly want to be more like Him.  Chances are, you do, too.

This week, I hope you not only approach others from a state of grace. I hope you offer up the same for yourself.  Sometimes, the person who needs grace the most is, well, you and me.  We need to forgive ourselves and forget what no longer serves us in the process.  There’s power in the now.  There’s grace there, too.  I hope you find it and, like Jesus, lavish it upon people from now til eternity.  

Stay Divine, 

JL PARISH